In the future we'll all be gay
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
