I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
