Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
