Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
