Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
