I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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