Whod you bang
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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