I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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