His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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