I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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