We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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