so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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