Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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