'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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