Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
