you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
