Fuck appropriateness.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
