i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
