stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
