I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
