Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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