I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
