How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my sisters under your porch take her home
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
