i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
