You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
