i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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