I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
