Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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