As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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