I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
