Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
