I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
