I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
