ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have so many feelings about this burrito
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize