Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
