Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize