so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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