Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
