Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
