Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
