its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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