You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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