i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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