Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize