thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize