I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
