The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
