he shaved USA in his pubs
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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