Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
