just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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