Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize