the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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