we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
