from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
