That's intense
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
