Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
