TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
