There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
