maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
