my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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