# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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