So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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