there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
